Dear Celebrities,

Please save our species.

As you make a living in the public eye, you're a role model to many who want to be just like you. Therefore what you do is more important than what you say. So please, urge the world NOT to follow your example.

Here are three core demands as a guideline to the #CelebrityRebellion (CR);

1) Tell the Truth - Admit you're an energy hog and a bit of an arsehole. You consume not just more lights, heat and fuel than everyone else, you also demand more space on the airwaves, on printed media and in our brains. If everyone dominated resources as much as you, our planet would have spontaneously combusted long ago.

2) Net Zero Emissions by Yesterday - Stop all of the above ASAP. Find another way to make a living. After all we're in a crisis, right? Celebrities are so very 2010. Take the hint - nobody wants you anymore. Brexit demonstrated that. The future is a world where everyone is free to be an artist - not just those with a sense of entitlement.

3) Citizens’ Assembly - We must set up a citizens assembly to police your activities, lifestyle and gargantuan ego. Unrestrained ambitions will be the death of us all. You clebbies are like a virus. Your insatiable appetite and gluttonous behavior spreads to every corner of the Earth inspiring others to be arseholes as well. You must be curtailed. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

The above measures will most certainly solve our current crisis.

In the meantime, I'm backing #Thorium. Why shouldn't the rest of the planet enjoy some of the good things you've had?